Wednesday, 21 October 2009
I am His instrument....
I love my blossoming body as the babe grows in my womb. My stomach growing round with child and yes even other parts!
I laid my hands on my sweet blessing and just gave thanks to HaShem for this wonderful blessing! I am a blessed woman! I am a favored woman! Pregnancy is an amazing event no matter how many times we are with child. Whether it's our 1st or our 11th as in my case!
How can we not marvel as the L-rd Himself forms our babe in the secret. As he forms each limb, crease and muscle. As he gives them eyes and ears. A beating heart and fingers! A miracle in the truest sense!
Can words even express the glory that being a woman is? The awesome privilege that G-d has given us?? Can we even comprehend it?
You L-rd are GLORIOUS! The works of Your hand are MARVELOUS!!
I am Your instrument to bring forth mighty arrows for Your army; for Your coming Kingdom! I am honored to be chosen!
Sunday, 18 October 2009
11th week coming to an end.
I *think* I am starting to feel better. I am still taking my secret weapon against m/s but hoping to stop here in a week or so..
Last night I had a scare. I have found baby's heartbeat easily each time I have listened with my doppler but last night I couldn't find it. I looked and looked. My heart rate was climbing as I begin to get scared. At the last minute I found it. The baby was hiding! Seriously! :)
It's nice to have my own doppler but it can cause alot of undue stress!!
I think I am starting to feel baby movements here and there.. I LOVE it!
Was able to find some maternity shirts at thrift store sales. Not any skirts pr pants... :( But I plan to keep looking.
12 weeks this coming Tuesday...this pregnancy is moving right along!! :)
Friday, 09 October 2009
Twin Thoughts..
I have had my baby girl RuthAnne on my heart more often lately. She was my fraternal twin dd that passed away when she was just about a month old.
I suppose there is many reasons for this...
In June it was 7 years since her death.
I prayed for my twins for 7 years
It's now 7 years since I had my twins.
This baby is due in May. The same month my twins were born in..
And when I listen to my baby with my doppler I am hearing what sounds like two baby's heartbeats at the same time; one on top of the other..one fades out and another different sounding one comes in clearer and then that one will fade out and the first one will come in clear and strong. My oldest dd has heard it.
Do I think it's twins? I *want* to believe it is. In reality though I know it most likely is just the doppler and all the weird things you hear with them.
I heard this baby at almost 9 weeks along. And I heard the heartbeat on the left side and then on the right side. Seems like the baby is too little to hear so far apart but again this is all most likely my wishing and praying for twins again!
I am thinking it may be twins more than with my last 3 pregnancies in which I considered it for a minute or two but I knew it wasn't. This time? I think it's probably one but am wondering more this time if it's two...
But I really wish the thought never even crossed my mind. I am sitting here and my heart is hurting. I want so badly to have twins that I get to watch grow up. Twins that are healthy...
But I know that I very well may never have another set and that breaks my heart!!
I prayed for 7 long years for my twins. And now 7 years later I am praying again for twins..
I had a dream a doctor thought it was twins and did an u/s and found 3! :) I never have dreams like that!! But I don't think it's 3!
I wish I could go back and rewind time..
I wish somehow I could have skipped the pain that losing my twin dd would bring..
That somehow I could have made her whole and still here at age 7 with her twin brother Micah.
I wish that somehow I could bargain with the Father to give me twins again; another chance to have my babies and watch them grow...
BUT I know that the Father has a plan for me and in that I have to rest..
I know that I am thankful for even one little precious babe...
Cease Striving and know that I am G-d... Psalm 46:10
Monday, 05 October 2009
- Well, I am 10 weeks tomorrow. I found something to help with my nausea and I am feeling so much better!
Saturday evening I found baby's heartbeat. I found it easily too! I thought I wouldn't find it or end up searching around a bit but I found it within a minute or so. I was able to hear it on both sides. Sunday I listened again. I just love that sound!
I have begun to wear maternity clothes or clothes that are bigger or stretchy as I look so much more pregnant than I am. I just poof out so quickly now that I have had so many babies. I know that eventually the baby will catch up to the stomach! :) I can definitely tell though in the last few weeks I have grown. My sweet dh palpated for my uterus and it is above the pubic bone already which has been the case for me. It is normal for a mama of many to measure bigger for dates. My uterus doesn't have to stretch as much..:)
I decided to do my vitals lastnight just to see where things stand. I take my bp twice each time as the first time I am nervous and get a bit higher reading. The 2nd time I have relaxed and get a relaxed more normal reading. This is the one I write down.
My bp was 109/59 and my heartrate was 69. So things are looking good. I still need to get to the pharmacy and get some pee strips. But I have time..
This is all so exciting!!!
p.s.....right now I *feel* like it's a girl but I guess that could change so we'll see...
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